Photo via flickr.com/photos/thomashawk
Last Sunday as we sat in church listening to the service, I am hesitant to call it a sermon because it was interactive and more like a classroom setting, and as the discussion progressed I became more and more uncomfortable. The scripture that was the reference was Matthew 21:31 where Jesus says in a parable, “I tell you with certainty, tax collectors and prostitutes will get into God’s kingdom ahead of you!” At one point in the service I was sure the minister was going to say ‘it is easier for prostitutes and homosexuals to enter the kingdom’ and I was not sure I was welcome among my fellow church goers.
Jenn and I have visited many churches in our 14 years together. Some of our experiences have been comical. For example our local MCC Church tried to give us the first time visitor prize 6 Sundays in a row. We visited our local Unity Church and when they asked first time visitors to stand, we did. We accepted the visitor carnation to designate us as visitors. We waited around holding the carnations for the coffee time and still left without anyone acknowledging or welcoming us. We attended a Baptist Church for 6-months where the only people who ever spoke to us were the preacher and our neighbors; we stopped attending because on a Sunday when the preacher was away, the guest speaker instigated a coup. There are more stories and more failed church relationships.
We landed at our current Church because we were invited by a friend to listen to him sing in the Easter cantata. As luck would have it, another acquaintance invited us to celebrate Easter with them that evening where we met, and liked the minister. We saw him again at the same couple’s Independence Day party, and he simply said “Haven’t seen you at Church lately”. A hopeful glimmer of acceptance was shinning on us like a spotlight!
We have found this Church to be welcoming and accepting. Turns out we knew and liked several members. We have been regularly attending since, July. However the past two Sunday’s we have both felt uncomfortable in the service. Nothing was said that caused the discomfort, it was the result of years of experience.
You see in our long and substantial Church going past we have experienced hate. Not the kind of hate where people are throwing stones at you; not the overt hate of verbal assaults but the hate of not being truly accepted. Preachers will stand in the pulpit and equate being homosexual to those who commit murder. They will choose a scripture what will condemn homosexuality as a topic while ignoring the portions about eating shellfish.
A friend yesterday, in response to my equating homophobia with hate, said ‘not to split a hair… but, a phobia causes fear not hate. Sometimes the reaction of those who fear something, often because they are ignorant about the particular topic manifests itself in the form of hate. It also causes avoidance which is far from hate. I’m not a big fan of the word hate being tossed about without careful consideration. I know many good folks who are ignorant about certain things that are far from being filled with hate. Let’s not be lumping the uneducated with the hateful minority.’ He may well be right that the majority of homophobic and hate-filled rhetoric we hear is based on ignorance and not on hate. However, I am not sure I can feel the difference.
In Mark 9:38-40 John said to Jesus, “Teacher, we saw someone driving out demons in your name. We tried to stop him, because he wasn’t a follower like us.” But Jesus said, “Don’t stop him, because no one who works a miracle in my name can slander me soon afterwards. For he that is not against us is for us. I long for the acceptance of a Church who understands as Jesus did that those who are not against them are for them. Those of us who sit in their pews and pay a tithe are not the enemy. We are, as they are, lost sheep looking for a Shepherd.
